So, I wanna be a shaman...
Anytime someone comes to me and says they want to be a shaman, I say, 'Ok, let me tell you what's going to happen.' And it's ugly. But if you're going to do it anyway ? if you come back and say, 'God, that really sucks but I don't know what else to do ? I have to do this!' Ok.
You can't turn back from it afterwards - not unless you want to die. There's a door and once you open that door it disappears. There isn't any closing it anymore. If you think you can close it, it's an illusion. Trust me, I've been through this because I tried to close it and it almost killed me. I don't mean that metaphorically ? I mean dying. So that's why I ask people to be very serious about that decision because that decision forms an intent and there's something out there that recognizes that Intent and links it to a larger intent and intent is something you can't get away from.
The techniques that I've been giving out to people aren't going to make you a shaman. You can use those techniques ? they are the same techniques shamans use, only shamans carry them to extremes. With the recapitulation, I say go back and take back the bad stuff. Go back and find where you're bleeding energy into situations that were destructive or whatever. A shaman doesn't stop there ? a shaman takes it all back - the joy, the happiness, all of it. He bleeds it until there's nothing left. He erases his own personal history. Then he can only exist in the present.
Shamanism is not about ritual or ceremony or dancing around or sticking feathers through your nose. It is simply about energy and our relationship both to ourselves and to creation at large. But anyone who is serious about wanting self-healing or wanting to improve their understanding of themselves in the world can take the techniques and work with them, gain that clarity or help. It doesn't mean they have to become shamans. As long as in your own mind the goal is simply to heal, understand more, whatever ? and not to become a shaman - it won't happen.
The shamanic breaks down into two processes, one is the kick-you-in-the-slats pain and misery process as you dump all your emotional baggage and begin to figure out who you are, and the other is the process of actually learning what you can and can't do. Some people go through the first process much faster than others, or start from a better position, but it still is a lengthy process. People have this idea they get all better after a few months or even a few years, but it isn't the case.
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