Sometimes I wonder if every human alive has a "hole in their heart".
Where did it come from, why is it there? Too many differing reasons and views on that and it's not the concern here. What is of concern is a particular pair of intertwined expectations that are used in an attempt to fill that hole, creating havoc and mayhem, misinterpretation, anger and sorrow.
In truth, they're also used for several other reasons; justification, value, level of trust and/or amount of vulnerability you allow.
So, what is the dynamic duo of expectations?
"To be KNOWN and UNDERSTOOD"
Think about it. Our core energy – your energy at birth, personal characteristics/predilections, strengths, and weaknesses - your basic nature coupled with "the essence of will, power, and intent, the seat of connection to all creation."
And you expect someone to know and understand that? That's quite frankly, ludicrous.
The only person alive that can possibly know and understand you is yourself, you're the one that's been present every breath of your life.
Everybody else holds perspectives and opinions. Note: those, while not controlled by you, can be altered by who you show up as in the world. Or you can detach from what they think and give no credence but projecting expectations, ones within your control and responsibility, onto others is a cop out.
While it might shed light on understanding, makers don't rely on divulged information about your past history and the intimate details of your life as a gauge for "knowing" who you are. Breaking the bonds of what you learned that no longer serve you is wiped away in the recapitulation, another large portion of that history becomes null and void, stripped of emotion and what's left are stories.
So, what does show a maker who you are?
What you create or destroy with your core energy.
How you handle your intent and will.
Whether your judgements are detached and as objective as possible.
The level of integrity you display and amount of self-healing you're committed to and have done.
Basically, your actions and the environment you've created and/or have decided to remain in.
Almost always coupled with this dynamic duo of expectations is another.
The expectation that people will CONTINUE to "know and understand you AS YOU CHANGE. That's what family and friends should do. That's how you know whether someone cares or not.
I say rubbish and call bullshit.
Change is a constant, especially so for makers. It's the nature of our life. When we get too comfortable something will occur jarring us out of complacency, back into the discovery of the unknown; either within ourselves or the wider context of universe.
Let me introduce you to another paradox within a maker life.
Intimacy, commitment, trust, and love all live within maker relationships.
Understanding, in the context of being "known" by others, normally considered a component of those is unnecessary.
This is an integral nugget of knowledge for makers, whose personalities diverge widely. And whether we like or dislike each other as a person (it does happen) bears no weight. There isn't a word for who makers become for each other. The quality of our bonds defies descriptions of friendship or family.
We share a history and hefty dose of respect for what this journey entails in order to come out the other side and our presence together produces a space safe for our type of weird.
We know and understand
That the traumas leading us to begin the journey of self-healing are nothing compared to the hell one goes through turning the "spark" into a flame and keeping it alive passionately.
Realize when we must destroy, at the expense of our own comfort, because creation, growth, and the fire burning within depend on it.
Respect and commitment to the extreme endurance required and sacrifices necessary while moving through the dark towards clarity, no matter the cost, for the rest of our lives.
We know and understand
Freedom once released from our history.
Moments of delicious respite after grueling focus.
Triumph upon achieving the impossible.
Gratification from mastering any of the tools for moving energy.
Joys of discovery and laughter at creations gone amok.
It's a glimpse into intimacy and authenticity, the maker way.
Perhaps it also explains how a person can take all the classes, practice every exercise, attend every workshop and still not be a maker, or do years of work and then let it fade away, curiosity hooked by something else. Why?
Turning oneself from coal into a rough diamond takes more time and pressure than most are willing to invest in or live with.
The rewards? Let's just say no one is standing there saying, yes, you're a maker, no you aren't. No certificates are handed out and quite frankly mutual glorifying agreement holds little appeal.
Being a maker is not something you "do", or "a place you arrive at" nor is it a "stop" along the ride of life.
Makers return to core and proceed to create who we are, birthing ourselves into being using intent.
A maker IS the journey.
Two makers together, three ten twenty? An added description to intimacy for Miss Webster's dictionary.