spiralsShould we Recap Current Relationships?  I heard it might not be a good idea to recap current relationships.  How do you deal with them and heal the unhealthy parts?

It's like this: if you recap a relationship along with the rest of the work you're doing, you will find that the relationship appears in a new light - and not one that necessarily is pleasant.

Once you recap the seminal event and all those associated with it, you change, sometimes rather radically.

This may happen, anyway.  I always suggest not recapping children or current romantic relationships in the beginning of the work; unfortunately, or fortunately, depending on how you look at it, as you work through the recap, relationships will change.  I just don't think it's good to start off by sticking your head in a pot of boiling water.  The reason is this: you come into relationships because of the patterns of behavior and response you have learned in life, but the problem is usually that those are not really yours; they exist as a reaction to other people.  As you recap your life and work through the process, you come to understand why you entered into relationships, why you got out.  Everything changes.  I like to warn people about that and suggest they stay away from strictly recapping a current relationship until they are surer of where they really are.

People notice the changes, but usually they are just more curious to start out with.

I was looking for a way to release the frustrations and see through to healing truth.

Ah, well, those come from the past.  They are only manifested in the current situation.  Take the feeling itself and begin recapping it apart from what it's related to in the relationship.  When was the last time you felt that way, what were the circumstances, the time before that, etc.  Keep recapping all those threads, and eventually you will arrive at what I refer to as a seminal event.  That event is what created the pattern.  Once you recap the seminal event and all those associated with it, you change, sometimes rather radically.  Recapping the current relationship doesn't get at the root - get the root, get to that and the rest will fall into place.

I've started to do some work in what I call '"the mom room'" .  There's some really nifty stuff in there, but a lot of it is subtle beyond my comprehension, and I can see at least one thing that I don't want to mess with until I better know what I'm doing.  Can one do work in this "place in the cellar'" without radically altering one's working relationship with one's parents?

Yes, but do keep in mind that eventually things will change.

Or does that relationship pretty much have to be radically changed anyway?

No, it's odd; sometimes things actually get better in relationships, especially the familial type.  But if you aren't comfortable looking at it yet, don't - there is plenty to work with before you come back and tackle it.  It may even make more sense, then.  People notice the changes, but usually they are just more curious to start out with.

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