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Don't worry, I know you wern't passing judgement. My view of a shaman is that it is a powerful responsibility to adhere for the living and the dead; by helping all life on earth as well as in the other planes of existance. I feel a strong sense of duty to help heal people and to keep the world in balance by using the abilities I have. At the same time it's not just a religion or a world view as it would become my life. It could not be something to just do on the weekends or in my spare time or when spiritual holidays come and go, it's 24/7 awake and dreaming with no rest. There's also the social side of things, well, not so much social as I've always felt set apart from everyone in my life; but to take this path would almost obliterate any chance of an average social, family and work life. I don't mean to make this sound negative in general as I know the positives are much more powerful than the negatives - maybe I'm just holding onto the material world and by doing that it's torturing me? I don't know. Without going into too much detail, I believe I did unknowingly journey a few times as a child in my dreams; but due to my background it was blocked out and put to the deepest parts of my mind as the material world took other. This would explain my research into different spiritual paths from a teenager to present because, from every spiritual path I managed to take something from it that was shamanic in nature. For instance I take my ethics from Buddhism, my skills from spiritualism (in terms of working on a psychic level.) In Paganism I took Yggdrassil from Norse Mythology, akin to the world tree in shamanic cosmology and learning how energy works through practicing witchcraft. But I do feel that if I journey, the mediumistic abilities I had as a child will be reinstated into my adult self and could be very intense to deal with by opening this world up again, that's if I was correct about journying as a child. Everyone has free will, one could choose to be Christian then change their view through Hinduism, or Buddhism or Paganism; but I don't believe this is something I could just stop or turn my back on if I journeyed now.
Thanks for your reply Peastacey, In honesty I would not prefer to live a shamanic life; so I can guarantee there's no romanticism involved here; but my spirituality constantly pushes me into this direction. I could easily turn a blind eye to this path and try to do something else which is what I have done. However I'm always pushed back towards Shamanism. In the past I've always been known to work on a psychic level. There are instances where spirit have been involved; but this is a handful of times. I've tried asking my spirit/animal guides about this issue and they only ever say: "Do a journey and find out!" but I'm very apprehensive about just doing a journey.
Hi, For about 3 years I have had strong suspicions (but kept putting them to the back of my head) that I have been called to Shamanic work. There's too much info for me to delve into on here on how my suspicions have built; but I have always had a strong spiritual streak in myself (I was not brought up religiously or came from any form of religious background) and I have reserached and practiced extensively in Wicca/witchcraft/Paganism/Budhhism and Taoism, I did consider Judaism one; but I beleive this was more of a fascination with the language than with the actual religion. But when I came across Shamanism by accident, it had resonated with me in a way the others did not, like a strong bond. Although I feel this way I have never sought out to journey or to contact spirits as growing up I've always held a custom that if the spirits need me, then they'll come to me. Through working with spirit/animal guides and working with psychic energy, I have no idea whether I could have been communing with spirits or not; as I've never really had a teacher or elder in my life to guide me through these things. I had once attended open circles at spiritualist church where we went through a group meditation process to recieve messages to spirit. They described the spiritual energy to be flowing and psychic energy to be limited; but in regards to shamanism I would be at a loss. I have had strong urges to just pick up a drum and bang it to see what happens but I'm also aware of how dangerous that is considering I'm not well practiced! I would love nothing more for someone to tell me in person whether I am a sham or not; but here in Plymouth, U.K it's difficult to find the correct type of advisor. I'm also aware that there is a branch of shamanism that does not involve itself with being called or chosen or having a family lineage in order to be a practising shaman; but I respectfully do not feel that this is correct for me personally; which is why I need to try and find the confirmation but I'm unsure how. Can anyone suggest on what I can do to solve this? I'm at the point where I don't know what to believe anymore or even how to take myself seriously. Many thanks for any help given!