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  1. Yesterday
  2. (possible trigger warning; dead animal part) Hello all, it's been some time since I've posted here; I'm Varg. I only post here when something significant happens, and tonight something did. Something did indeed happen. This, in my 20+ years as a Shaman, made me quiver a bit. I live out in the desert in far Western Colorado. I own 5 acres out here, and keep track of it regularly, and hunt my own land, as is needed, etc. Well, about 5 months ago, I was driving my tractor where I usually do, to pile rocks, at the bottom of my property, and there was a deer leg. It was just sitting there. I'm a hunter and a butcher, a Shaman, a Mysticist, w/e you wanna call me... well... having butchered my share of deer, I noticed something off about this particular severed deer leg. The thing about it, having butchered my share of animals was that this leg had been cleanly cut off at the joint, and about one inch lower, the fur was cut with a knife, right around the bone. This obviously means this was from a skinned deer. When you kill an animal, you pull out the eviscera, and then immediately cut the skin from the bone, to separate the meat from the bone, before it goes bad, and etc... well.... deer have 4 legs; and a head. and about 10 pounds of viscera. There was none of that. Just the one leg portion laying there neatly where I drove my tractor. And so I gave pause. There was no blood, no sign of anything; (besides, who would take the time to clean a dear 100 yards into someone else's property? You'd pull it home and clean it there) - just the one clean cut leg. I found it odd, for aforementioned reasons, obviously; so I kicked it aside, under a piece of jutting rock, out of the sun. That was five or so months ago. Fast forward to today: Some very ill words were exchanged between my sister and me, and I knew, and said so to my parents that things were going to change. I knew something was going to happen. Something. It kept me, this thought of woe, up all night until about 1:30am when I remembered that one deer leg from like 5 months ago that was left on my property that I kicked under a rock. So I, with just a flashlight and a knife for protection, in the middle of the night, on a whim (welcome to Shamanism), hiked back down there to find something - and something I found. In that exact spot where it originally was,, was the deer leg. Not where I kicked it - nope - it was exactly where I originally found it. Yeah, I know, "coyotes moved it" or something, no - this was an inept, desiccated deer leg not worth the trouble of scavenging - and it was right back where I found it. Precisely. I honestly hiked down there at 1:30am expecting that, and there it was - moved back to where it was. Again, without a mark; only footprints in the dirt. Of course after 6 or so months in the desert heat of the summer it was so dry that you could practically blow and the fur would fly off, leaving only bone. It was that dry... although we are just at the end of a rainy season atm, after Summer. I knew this was the sign. It had been placed there, and then moved. This, someone did deliberately. so I removed it and left a ᚨ rune carved in the dirt in its place. (if that rune doesn't appear for you in your font, it was an Ansuz Rune), and took the leg home with me. I figure someone wanted me to find it, and then after I moved it, they put it back, so 5 months or so later I took it and left a Shaman's Rune in its place to let them know that I too am like them. Why did this happen? Who put it there? Why did they move it? Why, after 5 months did I hike down there in the middle of the night to know and find all of this true? Welcome to the mysteries of Shamanism. I will cut it down and carve it into what it should be, and see. I've worked much with animal bone in my past, but how would whoever put it there know that? I don't fucking know. But I now have another powerful tool against bad spirits. -Varg
  3. Last week
  4. Earlier
  5. Interesting stuff. I agree that science and the spiritual realms have a lot more in common then people realize.
  6. It's fun to think of the human existence as a quantum state field sometimes. There's a concept in the tradition called the three Ps, potential, possibility and probability. The photon is one of those things that are often talked about in the field and you will often encounter the three Ps when talking about photons and how they will move. Always cool to see those similarities in the scientific and spiritual realms.
  7. I think the people of the ShamansCave will find this quote from Master Li Hongzhi (founder of Falun Dafa) from one of his Buddha Law Lectures very interesting: "The human mind is complex. I’ve spoken with you before about how a person’s brain is merely a processing plant. A person is born from his mother’s womb, with his parents’ flesh and blood, and then grows by consuming earthly foods. And at death, whether he’s buried in the earth or cremated, he turns to dust. The brain itself, strictly speaking, is not the origin of one’s thoughts. Don’t people have a soul? Doesn’t a person’s body also consist of a part that is at various microscopic layers and that isn’t in the surface dimension? All of those can generate thoughts. Some people have said that the human body is a miniature universe. Think about how many cells are contained in a person’s brain. And how many molecules make up those cells? And how many even more minuscule particles make up those molecules? Each minuscule particle, as positioned in space, looks as does a celestial body to the human eye. Everyone looks outwardly. Every planet in this greater universe has life on it, only it’s not in this surface dimension and thus it’s invisible to you. America’s space technology is said to be so advanced, yet when they land on other planets they see nothing there but a desolate world. But it is not desolate there; it’s just that man’s technology is too shallow. How many planets are there in this universe? The cells, molecules, and more minuscule particles in the human brain have the same arrangement as that of the universe that we see, and even the sequencing is the same. How many particles are there in your human body? How many planets are there inside your brain? If the lives on those minuscule particles (that is, planets) were to look upon the particles spread throughout the space of the brain, would it be any different from how human beings look at planets or the universe? If you are to look at it this way, doesn’t a person’s brain contain a large universe? And how many beings, how many gods, and how many still greater beings exist there in those dimensions? Given that all of those countless beings have their own minds, where exactly do humans’ thoughts come from? It’s extraordinarily complex." If anyone is interested I've left a link to Zhuan Falun ( the core book of Falun Dafa ). It talks about spiritual things from a scientific perspective. It talks about other dimensions, the soul, the cosmos in the microcosm and the macrocosm, supernatural abilities, karma, healing, the true history of mankind, transcending the 5 elements and leaving the 3 realms and many many other fascinating things: http://en.falundafa.org/eng/pdf/ZFL2014.pdf
  8. Hey UnknownPatterns, I've had certain experiences in my life that bent or warped my energy against myself in such a way that spiraled me into a self-loathing and self-harm way of existing. In the end it is my energy that is at play and the outside energies and influences that i internalized caused me, in a sense, empower those energies. Essentially i gave up my own personal power and surrendered my energy to those thoughts and experiences that shaped my energy into that self-harming form. There is an exercise in the Maker tradition called recapitulation (recap) that helped me to kind of reclaim that energy. Like, it helped me see where i was giving power to the external and allowing it to create my reality in a sense. It also helped to sort out what experiences i had that were making believe that i "am" this or i "deserve" this. In essence it helped me reclaim my personal power from those experiences and people who "shaped" me. If you'd like to check out the recap practice i'll post it below. https://www.shamanscave.com/self-healing/the-recapitulation Another thing i found very helpful was spending time in nature, as it has a very grounding effect for me. Kinda allows me to decompress from the things that are making me feel overwhelmed as well as letting go of things im holding on to. This helped a lot with settling into my own energy. Regards, Alex
  9. Yes, I never tire of hearing Shamanic Dream. I think whatever type of music helps you to move is okay. I tend to like music without words as it's less emotionally engaging and it doesn't distract me. I personally don't use any flute music but that's just me. However, I know a lot of people use this flute music, it's New Age, not Tibetan, I believe it uses Native American flutes but not sure: Coyote Oldman Tear Of The Moon https://youtu.be/HxLRkYrqU7I
  10. Basically, due to a combination of many factors, I'm experiencing both a shamanic illness, and a physical, as well as psychological manifestation of gaslighting, the process of making someone question their own reality, I think this is basically my will and intent/energy working against itself, as well as energy working against me. I had a can of chicken noodle soup that had been on my counter for two days, become chicken broth when I opened it. My dad almost choked, and my mom fell. I've had strange encounters with people. It reminds me of this person point of view on awakeninthedream.com . I am experiencing something of a shamanic illness and am becoming empowered as I work on my will continually. These are strange times we're living in.
  11. Thanks. I love the one by Anugama in particular. What do you think of the Tibetan flute? Amy
  12. Ahh okay, Are you sure it did not go into spam folder, I can see if I could re-send it without the password. But it should show up just normally, in your email... And then it will ask for that password I messaged in your inbox. I just thought it was kind of "weird", especially taken out of context, so I figured that, hmm, it's better if there's a password so less chance that someone else reads it. Don't worry about being busy, it's fine. But I think because my email address is uncommon, and you have Gmail, it could easily go to "spam".
  13. Fin, I apologize for it taking so long for me to get back to you. I am very busy with work. I got an email from here saying that you messaged me, but I'm so fail with the internet that I can't figure it out. (And yet my business is my YouTube channel - lol - sad but true). I fucking love "folkish" as you said, music. For instance Einherjer, or Old Man's Child. Both are Norwegian artists from the early 2000's. Einherjer was more 'Norwegian Folk Metal', and Old Man's Child was more like 'Norwegian Black Folk Metal', if such a thing exists.. but yeah. I received an email notifying me that I had a message from you, but I'll be honest and even after reading it I couldn't make sense of it. I have many friends in Northern Europe, where, as far as I can gather you're from, and we have amongst us an inside joke we call 'English fail'. It's cool. Just email me directly at ryanpinkston8@gmail.com I couldn't make sense of the message you sent me here, nor can I figure out how to pull it up... yeah, and I'm the guy who makes my living from YouTube; pure dumb luck. Just toss me a proper email. Thanks, -Varg
  14. Hi Amy, You actually can learn to journey without using drums or rattles. But starting out, it helps to have something to work with. Here are a couple of songs that you might find useful: An oldie but goodie
  15. I follow the path of the Buddha and have been interested in the shamanic journey for some time. I am schizophrenic as well and possess an aversion to the sounds of drumming and rattling. I am wondering if there is another sort of instrument which I might adhere to while journeying, such as the Tibetan flute. Shaman's Market has a number of CDs which sound interesting. Thank you. Amy
  16. Yeah and also, it's weird that both mine and my spouses dad's died inside 1 year, unexpectedly, both of different reasons. But both at the same age, and the calendar month was same, just 1 year between. So whatever it is it might have affected that. In between that time one of my mom's brothers died, and I do recall seeing a dream of him being interested in kabbalah before he died, even though he was not close to me, and probably not interested into that. But some sort of symbolism it seems to carry. Don't know if my father's suicide is supposed to cause him any spiritual problems? there are probably many takes on that depending on thy religion. Month of father's dying was February, 2020, and 2021.
  17. Current conclusion about my problem, some sort of "vampiric link" or several of those, somehow it also causes bad luck. Or just plain annoyance that it seems to feed off. I have concluded many possible reasons for this, deciphering my dreams, and analyzing past situations. It likes to cause me panic, or lethargy, symptoms of vampiric attack I suspect, but it also gains momentum for not letting me succeed. I don't know how it does that, but for example, my problem for years have been finding us and apartment where we can stay without problems, just last night I once again thought that I had found one, yeah we could have to move AGAIN, but this was very nearby, it was free, and the cost was affordable. Today "poof" it's gone, someone else got it, similar case has happened many times. No reason to explain further unless someone here knows what to do about it. Sleep paralyzes are sometimes caused by this, or me battling it, but sometimes maybe just because of drinking beers and hot air. Was this vampiric link the same thing that pushed that KYGO speaker to the floor? I don't know there had been a death in that apartment as well. I might have done something that draws these forces towards me, like occult rituals trying to see to the other side. But I do suspect that in many case, these are inflicted to me by other people, both by their willingness to do so, and just by being around them, like viruses. yeah I think that's it, viruses. It does affect me like a computer virus. Once again "Vampiric Link" is just my current term for it, not exactly sure how what all of these things are, maybe I should email Vargtid and discuss with him, it just causes me anxiety to do so. Maybe they cause it, who knows.
  18. Hmm, yeah I think I do sometimes have these encounters, which I could further interpret. Sometimes I just get lost in the stampede of interpretations after interpretations. But I think know that feel when you discover flashes of some hidden truth. I will think about emailing, somehow I'm feeling uneasy about sharing too much about my persona via internet nowadays. I'm not even active on typical social medias. Well I do have a pinterest and steam account, but no facebook for example. I read your story about your encounters with the spirits btw, it was a lot to go through, sounds like very personal experience ,- difficult to translate that kind of experiences to other people. And perhaps there comes the issue with myself too, I'm not sure what should I tell about myself so it's not irrelevant or too much. My favorite band, if i had to pick one is Nokturnal Mortum, but i don't even listen to black metal everyday, i'm quite flexible with my music taste, Nokturnal's music is kind of mixture between shamanic and black metal, well, I suppose its "Folkish black metal". Drudkh, is also good, and also Ukranian.
  19. Fin, Allow me to give you an example of patience, if you could be so humble; my favorite band is Cradle of Filth: I listen to them every day - all but songs from their original album, 'Total Fucking Darkness'. This because I own it, on vinyl, original, unopened, in mint condition. This record sits on my shelf and although this is my favorite band and I could at any moment listen to any song from there on YouTube, I choose not to. I still have a perfect copy of their first album on vinyl in the original cellophane, frozen in time. Once time speaks to me, I'll know it's time - it'll likely be years more; perhaps there's something within that album I'm not yet meant to know to better myself. I will learn it then. Until that moment, the original LP still factory and unlistened of my favorite band sits on a shelf. When the day is right I will hear it. Though I have heard and seen them live - them and every other band like them - this one record remains sealed. I know enough not to ask questions. Answers are revealed in time. I know how that sounds, but from my experience anyway 90% of my other-world experiences were things I didn't expect at times when I wasn't prepared. That said, I don't just 'wait', now, prepared with wisdom, I collect things which someday may spark intuition. Again, I don't follow the tradition of those here. I forge my own path, but they know that. That's why I posted my personal email above. I would never try to derail what these cool people are doing here. -Varg
  20. You never know who you're going to meet on the internet, and that in itself is always an adventure.
  21. Fin, Wow, so many questions to respond to... I follow my own path, and let that be known. Although I have the utmost respect for the Makers here and have read their writings, I maintain my own beliefs - and they know this. It's no sign of disrespect - no - I'm a Shaman in what I see as a great Shaman community on the Internet. We are who we are and define convention. It's okay that I'm not perfectly aligned with everyone here. I'm here, as is everyone else, because I'm different. Are not we all? The Shaman irl with which I spoke of earlier who I met with was... a harrowing experience, and was not paid for btw, but just an encounter. As far as tattoos go- they're not for everyone. There is Alchemy in ink. I have two or three other girls' names inked in me to remember, but my current partner is not among them. It's because she is important. When I know the way to put her name on me and where and how, I will. Everyone expresses themselves in different ways. That said, funnily enough mine are not 'expression', as I cover them... but rather expression for myself. For only here, in my home do I see them. Idk if that makes any sense. As far as a sprit animal goes - and again, as I have said I am not like those here, but it is something that you will know. Perhaps some life experience will show you. I have learned much through patience. All that said, Fin, please email me at my personal email ryanpinkston8@gmail.com and perhaps we can speak or video chat or w/e you want - we can arrange it there, off-forum. That's my email, and that bit is up to you. This is the best place to meet people like myself and I want not to draw anyone away from here, but if someone is closer to my beliefs than others, then I would obviously love to speak with them personally. I give my email because that's personal and business and I check it all the time and will respond, and I realize that even here I'm a bit of an outcast because I'm not a Maker - but are we not all here because we are outcasts? Also, you clearly share a love of Black Metal, lol, so there is that. -Varg
  22. Vargtid

    Hailsa!

    I agree with you completely on that. It's become part of my brain; but that's okay... The way I see it is I have added answers to variables that were beforehand lingering in my brain. This is one reason I find comfort in books. I can read of others' experiences and languages and not have to go there. No, it's not a lazy outlook, but rather one of wisdom and foresight - or at least that is what I tell myself. I do still experience what I read. The current book I'm reading is by Sade. That's an experience. So there's that. -Varg
  23. Rodulf

    Hailsa!

    I, too, am retired. I have thirty years in the military and law enforcement. It's difficult to maintain a positive mind as we are living through the dissolution of the current world system. I've been in a war for this system and have enforced its laws for many years and I feel betrayed by it, but I try to move past that and be the best husband I can be while working on my own self-evolution.
  24. I thought we would get along to some extent, even though there must be many differences in our lifestyles. Then there are similarities too, and somehow we were drawn here, this must be a mental ward. the maker people are the staff, but we the fugitives have our own theories, staff goes shaking their head. Perhaps I must mention that I'm probably more harsh to any shaman, than a normal person would be, because I know about the cold reading technique some people use. So they really had to tell me something that I haven't given them already. And that shaman who I spoke of kind of missed it because we had 1 hour video call + 4 hours of IRL conversation before her session. So, vague representations of what might have been going on explained in symbolism didn't quite convince me. And I sensed the oppressive being/energy being just annoyed for that shaman claiming to have gotten rid of it. Not only that she claimed that she restored parts of mine and my spouses soul, and she did this remotely - it's a lot of claims at once. I have been told things online earlier, by a witch not shaman, but she too used shamanic type of travelling to check things for me- Some of those things may have been right, but I can't say yes or no because we also talked a lot, and I haven't been able to fact check everything. Also I did not pay her like I paid the IRL shaman so it's irrelevant in that way to compare. And I never precisely asked her about spirit animal. Even though the tattoo is cool idea, don't you feel that you have further condemned yourself to be that prodigy? it's your personal business, your tattoos ofc. I know it’s a two way street, not because I knew of your experiences, but because it often is, and that’s why there is both, a bullet in your flesh, yet strength found in that fact. You have made it so. I could think of few animals that could be my spirit animal, but I would like to be sure, like actually meeting it in some fantastical way, yes I expect them to talk to me :-D. What kind of benefit does knowing your spirit animal give you? does it help you get around in life and beyond ?
  25. Vargtid

    Hailsa!

    On YouTube my main channel is Darkdally. youtube.com/darkdally And the same greetings to you, by the way, kinsman! I am not a fan of technology by nature, but that, honestly just kind of fell into my lap. I work from home which however does suit me because I get to be alone and read books and practice. I do practice solo, and such like that. I've had an adventurous life which ... lol now is mostly retirement and Shamanism, and that's the funny part, because Shamanism is anything if not adventurous. There are more videos always coming on the afore-mentioned channel. It's mostly military gaming because irl I am military, but I'll tell you that my true passions are exploring, hunting, books, and languages. Perhaps boring... but I've worked enough that I can finally enjoy those and learn. Thank you sir, -Varg
  26. The first thing I thought was yeah - I lost interest after Vortex and Mustis Were gone. I last saw Dimmu live back in 2003, and that was about it. I did enjoy their remake of Stormblast in like '05, but yeah. And as far as your comment on Kristian becoming Varg - yes - I know the whole story. Overall, I couldn't agree more. Haha. You made me actually laugh out loud. Good on that, Fin lol. Moving on, you raised a great question in that what was it that had me realize the wolf as my sprit animal? I will have to think on this. First off, I was using the name Varg long before I'd ever heard of the events of Mayhem back in the early '90's. If that was a thought, then nah, because that's just coincidence. It was something else, back in ... let me think.... Fin, I first got introduced to Northern Paganism, (which I later came to find were my ancestral roots), back in '99. I feel I've told this story before, or at least that bit. Before I knew my true calling as a Shaman, I was a 19 year-old Wiccan with eclectic beliefs just basically going off books I had read. I first found much of what I had in the early 2000's, like '01 and '02 through, oddly enough, an RPG, like D&D, that I was playing with friends. I played my character as part of the 'Get of Fenris'. I barely knew who he was at the time, or not to mention other wolves such as Freki and Geri, but I guess .... it was... not like yours. I have spoken with a Shaman more advanced than I, back in I believe '09, and that was far more ... whatever than I care to recall here. She knew more about me than I care to admit. You know how it is. It just came into me. In every circle I've been the oldest, the most experienced, the wisest, and the most clever. That along with my associations to Odin... just led that way. I knew names of Odin before I even really went down that route, and used them, without knowing. I was born on a Wednesday. I, as Odin, have sacrificed myself many times, and my life here, to gain other knowledge. It was some twenty years ago when I realized my kinship to his wolves, and not decided, but knew that that's where I belonged. You understand? The sprit animal of oneself can't be a concious choice, but rather a realization, or revelation of how you lived. That's how it was for me. Thank you, ~Varg
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  28. Do not worry about what you cannot change, it is done. But If you cannot change the past then you might as well empty it: take the energy out of it for your use at your disposal in the now to create a different future from where you are standing to stand somewhere else with power. I guess that’s my philosophy.
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