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  1. I will and have considered it. Im just that exhausted right now to the point I am ready to almost check myself into a healing center somewhere so I asked. When I am stronger I may do that
  2. Does anyone know of a healing center out there in the USA that takes people like myself?
  3. I know I have made a few posts here. I apologize if they have been somewhat jumbled if they were. It was over a year with warring spirit spouses and I was not aware such things existed. I was visited with gifts, roses, the creation of spirit children, and also spirits that wished to suck the life out of me. I also had an ancestral spirit spouse which was my father who became very domineering and jealous. The spouses would war one another and the children were also caught in a battlefield. It was confusing to me because of the different perspectives from the shamanic beliefs on these
  4. Hi, I have posted a few posts on this forum and I appreciate so much everyones help and responses. I am having a hard time on my own reclaiming energy I would like to retrieve. I think this is due to extreme series of traumas both sexual, emotion and physical as well as NDES and I often feel other people in my energy field as well. I have a hard time concentrating and staying focused on exercises I am reading about on the internet. I recently came back from a complete nervous and physical breakdown. I have been reading about soul fragmentation as well as soul retrieval.
  5. Thanks for saying that. I appreciate there being a space somewhere for that. It can be so isolating in a world where you have experiences like these happen and the only option in the world of the normality of even the madness of the world your experiences sound like insanity. It drove me into a hospital after going through a crisis and not knowing where to turn. In my states of breakdown I humiliated myself socially with stories of experiencing other realities other than living in a world that was more tribal with medicine men and women to possibly guide me and help. My li
  6. I apologize for the long winded rants. I could write my story for days to tell you the truth. I am just tired and it was too supernatural to relate to many and then the war left me feeling that lost and wondering even if I was gone forever... yet I am still here. Anyways thank you all for your replies and care!
  7. Well I should say that "was" vision of life.. now I am more tired and just I am happy if I make it through the day. But I appreciate your reply and it really helped me feel like hope was there and possibly I was a really beautiful strong independent woman that lived on the road. I was a bit of of wounded warrior and kept to myself in certain ways but I loved nature, freedom, and travel. I lived on the road as I said for many years and since then have been somewhat forced away from that path.. Now is a time of resting. I do hope you are right! What a relief it would be to find out I
  8. Thanks you. This actually was very consoling and helpful feedback. I could not understand why certain beings were trying to convince me I had been destroyed forever possibly then later telling me that was untrue and the endless looping. Possibly to take away my own feeling of power or worth and it did this to me. I later learned through the communication the beings would change stories saying it was possible for me to still be in a heaven and have a life after life when at other times they tried to make me think I was destroyed.. while at the same time blocking certain natural guides or
  9. These patriarchal beings that got involved became very manipulative at times and it scared me because it was not my belief system. Even looping me around in circles with guidance and then false truths possibly so I did not trust my own anymore and became very weak. I was told it was a patriarchal war that was happening in the spirit world and certain patriarchs desired to not lose their subservients . I was taken from a beautiful path once where I was given a native type medicine name in a near death experience to being caught in a war with religious ideas that frightened
  10. Silence seeker this what was most difficult for me. I knew my energy very clearly and after the experiences and so many trying to not only bombard my energy field I could not feel myself the same. What they also did during this time was take someone elses energy and told me they are using it a space holder basically and I could only feel her energy around me as if I had been replaced and it was not feeling like a natural space holder as I had felt before. She was used to my understanding to repel others that came in my iniation because she was not a soul mate to them- which this was not f
  11. Thanks for the reply. I have considered taking classes. I do not know if my mind is quite ready for that yet. Not just making excuses. I am healing and coming back from a shamanic break and crisis and I find myself very foggy and tired at times unable to retrain information. Also It was very bizarre after my father passed shortly after that I started feeling him around me and smelling roses, I would feel him hiking with me after in his life he lost his legs and his energy coming through my own, eventually he became attached to what it felt like the crown of my head often as well as cord
  12. I apologize I had some issues having the reply quoted in the last posting. I replied and possibly was quoted in her quote as replying. I am not super internet savvy and I am tired right now. If it irritates people just delete my replies. Sorry I am battling a health condition right now and foggy and tired.
  13. Just curious if anyone else had had experiences with spirit spouses? If you are unaware what they are wikipedia has a definition and after searching the web I have read mixed reviews. I started having spirit spouses travel to me and reach me and it was without trying to ask for this. I had both beautiful experiences but also negative as well and went through a time of deep prayer and trying to cut cords just to find myself again. I found myself in love from some of the other worldly experiences with people that were actually still alive that were reaching me. Complete with spi
  14. Mandy, Thank you for the reply. Yes I can be very much of an empath as well as a sensitive. I liked your imagery of standing and looking out over a canyon or mountains. That has been myself in ways lately physically. The spirit spouses became somewhat of a nightmare. I could feel their cords enter me at times and it was distracting me away from myself and at times engage in the cord and be told "they were extra eyes" for myself as an ancestor or as a spouse. However not all of them were welcome and became domineering in what they desired to do and I found my lifeforce ene
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