Healing and autusm

Hallo everyone,

As I am healing from various things, as recently realized that I have been autistic my entire life without knowing it makes it a very challenging period in my life right now.

The shit does and meltdowns are different than self importance/pity as I am working with that aspect . Although it is intertwined with my childhood as I was always being blamed about my behaviour which seemed a certain way to others due to being overwhelmed, sensory overload and my expectations were just a cry for help to regulate my nervous system. So I have a challenging time working through expectations patterns and all the healing to clear out patterns having autism.

Aside of all that there is a group of people who are trying to constant keep me in a certain pattern and make me fall. I had also brest cancer and a surgery with lympadectomy, I am unable to fully use my right arm due to the damage in nerved where I was pressured to do a surgery while I could have done something else. Now I am all alone and also due to my autstim and the unmasking of understanding myself ( like stimming helps me regulate my nervous system but I learned to shut down and I dont feel safe in public many times although have done it,my happiness to share information and talk about my interests and when people don't I feel odd).

So I have a challenging time navigating my healing process with all that and in too having no support ( aside the healing)and being alone, also financially I am unable to do a crowdfunding where I need someone to do it for me cause I am having autistic burn out and all I need is a safe place to heal. I have gone through terrible things that no human being should ever go through.

Any advice or support is welcome. I feel really my physical body will give up if this continues