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  1. Like Belle said, be ruthless. Your fear is the opening the door too. I was in your shoes once. The more you heal, the more you'll realize the only power they have over you is what you allow them to have. There will come a time when they will become insignificant and won't reach you.... Who knows, maybe one day you will be the one stalking them *grin*. e.
  2. Hi ArcaneHuman, Going into psychosis or not, nothing and no one has the right to your energy without your agreement. Look in your energy for where you are allowing this to continue: fear? Inability to say vamoose? The belief that once you go into psychosis you have no power or control? Explore it and give them a firm NO and kick them out then dust off your hands. e. "Intent is King, Will is Queen."
  3. ((AH)) It sounds like you're listening to yourself and letting your energy guide you and that's the right approach. You got great advice from your friend, but as you said you sensed you were ready to come to terms after picking at the edges of your trauma scabs. I think your huge breakthrough probably came from being in an overall healthier energetic space- good eating, long-term recap, and meditation to boot- high five. You were ready. About recapping trauma: I wouldn't dive into it directly when you officially start the class for the sake of experiencing each step alone. And it's a funny thing, recapping trauma: at first some days you can do it, other days you'll be watching a movie and start bawling because the movie somehow triggered something connected to the trauma. For me, I approached trauma in slivers, layers, aspects of it here and there. I'd still go back to square one as taught once class begins since there's a method to the approach, even if it feels like you might know some of this stuff already because of your independent recap work. What you achieved with the recap so far will most likely give you much deeper experiences with the recap 1 exercises you'll get in the class. I'm sure others will jump in with some advice on what worked for them too. eman
  4. ((ArcaneHuman)) These are the ones you should focus on- they are opportunities for growth. If you think about Spirals, for example, the entire class, in terms of exercises, really is just one movement: getting you to use your intent intentionally + the knowledge that came with the class. Quicksilver, as you're seeing, is developing your awareness and perception, the exercises all geared towards fine-tuning these energies. All classes are just one big movement in a sense that had to be broken down into smaller achievable ones. What I did, having been a student at the cave too, is that I went through and focused on each class at a time and incorporated many exercise into my life. Some things became part of my daily regular routine, like recap, working with rocks, etc. Remember you are in the stages of moving and understanding your energy as you heal it, so tier 1 is all about you. Focus on the exercise of the week as you take a class because it helps prepare your energy for the next exercise. You can, afterwards, go back and revisit whatever you want and need to. Here are some analogies that worked for me, silly as they are : with these classes you are going through an energetic transformation and growth, like a Transformer. Also, if you were a car with a lot of dents, you are taking apart the car (you), understanding how each piece works (a specific class), fixing it, and then putting them all together again but now you've become a car that has technology that the world doesn't really have, and it can do things other cars can't. There will be an "aha!" moment, or a series of them, where classes connect, and you begin to realize is that you are turning into the person, the healed, powerful, energetic creature you were born to be and wants to come into the world: each class is a part of that transformation. So go through each class with the intent to take the challenges head-on and learn from the ones you can't do: this is where the real change happens. And if you can't do it now, so what? A year from now, you'll pick it up and do it as easily as making a P&B sandwich because your energy has changed over time... this has actually happened to me. Long answer, but the short of it is focus on what's at hand, keep on recapitulating (I would really take this class and you will see why when you do- too long to explain here but it goes into such great detail that you don't get from the articles, so worth it), and go for the challenging exercises because "if you push anything long enough, it will eventually move" (quoting Gary). I hope this helps. e.
  5. Oh so you have touched upon the void, have you? Excellent. It’s not nothingness though. Good work. Over time you will find out for yourself what the void is, who knows it might even reach out and look back at you *grin*. e.
  6. Crucial. @ArcaneHuman, Lorrie is pretty much second in command here, guides all student development at Shaman's Cave and is ultimately the best person to ask about what class to take next-- especially since your only class was taken years ago. It all starts with energy retrieval. I will now bow out of this conversation as Lorrie is in touch with the overall picture of who has taken what, it really all starts with the cornerstone classes as she is advising. Good luck to you in your upcoming class choice, I hope to see you around. ~Eman
  7. Hello again, Oh! Stacey is an advanced student/maker, I've known her for years and if she 'sees' that you will benefit from Quicksilver I'd trust her advice. I'm not sure it's being offered this session though. e.
  8. Hello again. Let’s leave Allies for another time I see that you’re still tier one so that comes later. To be fluid is to be able to move and act in the moment. Act, not react. It is to go where you need to go, be who you need to be, do what you have to do in the moment. Stalking is only a part of the vehicle: it works in tandem with self-healing, intent, and dreaming energy. If I over explain now, it will become something intellectualized and your mind will take over: I am speaking to your energy. Do you feel it? It’s such a beautiful day, where I am. The sun is out, the streams are streaming, life is moving. e. PS https://www.shamanscave.com/courses/7-shamanic-will-voice
  9. Hello again @ArcaneHuman. Let me go looking for some articles later and come back to post them it's morning where I am and I have to run out soon but *nod* we can have such deeply engrained patterns, like to reach for something to make us 'feel better' like ice cream (sugar) or cigarettes but if you think about it they aren't just habits but are also chemical dependencies (like 600+ chemicals depending on what your brand is) so it's a bigger thing to contend with it's got to be a combination of stalking, intent, recap, and lots of will power. So I'm drawing a distinction between the pattern to reach for something, and a habitual dependency on something outside of your own energy. It can be done- quitting a thing, that us. Substance habits are big fish, they are things outside of your energy too so you are 'dancing with something else' not just stalking your own energy there needs to be a strategy to quit them, but honestly the desire to quit, the intent and will... *intent is king, will is queen*. We break up areas of teaching online because it's the best way to learn this tradition when it's not in person-- like taking a car engine apart and studying what each piece does, but the whole engine, or the whole areas of the tradition, work together. So yeah I'd separate quitting smoking from stalking yourself, but use stalking to help yourself quit and stay done. So to answer your question, yes you are changing patterns with stalking (and recap, of course), but substance habits need to be separated from you, or quit- you know what I mean. I've battled with cigarettes, quit for eleven years (except a smoke here and there with a friend but not until years after quitting)... but they snuck back in during Covid lockdown- just one a day, then it became 5-6. Why? I never fully closed the door, did I? But they are on their way out now. I'd formerly quit with just the great desire to quit + intent/will power and replacing the habit with drinking lots of orange juice and water at first just to give the body mechanics something to reach for at first. I had to stalk why I smoked (my mother did, it also symbolized independence to me in some weird way). I'm pretty fluid now, of course, but I've picked up an old bad habit I thought was gone but the smoke ally was just waiting for that moment to pounce back in... have you learned about Allies yet? Here's a challenge: I'll quit if you will. We can share notes on stalking the habit out of our energy as well as strategies for letting go of that dopamine hit our brains like when we take a drag. e. PS I'll be back later with more on Shamanic Voice and how it intersects with stalking.
  10. You're stalking to learn fluidity so that you can act on the turn of a dime for so many reasons, for yourself and for others. Our habits make it hard to be truly fluid so we stalk ourselves, practice being others, etc. Later, your stalking gets bigger and so do the reasons behind it. Stalking goes nicely with shamanic voice too... I won't rehash the stalking classes, ArcaneHuman, but I want you to look at that pattern you have with shrugging your shoulders: try not doing that- no reason in particular, just because. See what happens. Eman
  11. Yes, energetically "bent" to me means that your energy is not a typical human configuration, for example you are very empathic and in tune with energies in a way that most people are not. You have a highly developed awareness too, and you said it yourself about your third eye being very sensitive. To a shaman this means you are someone who can be trained and will really benefit from healing and working with energy in general. So being energetically "bent" is a good thing. Ignore the world judgement and please know that having a disability, friend, does not stand in your way of being the best person you can be or that it should limit you in any way when it comes to what we do here. In fact I would say that it certainly makes you more compassionate with other people. I am sorry I am not in your shoes to fully understand what it must be like being in your body, but someone very close and dear to me has spastic CP and he has struggled in his life with people treating him differently because of it.... Believe me, do not think the shape or form of your body can ever stop you from being powerful and energetically healed, because it doesn't. You can have one leg or four arms or be in a wheelchair and yet still be a powerful dreamer, healer, mover of energy, and a force in the world and universe capable of exploring what is out there... The body will never stop you from journeying to places outside this world and experiencing the magic and wonders in the world that maybe only 1% of people are "bent" and able to, or even have the courage to. You know I don't believe in coincidences: none of us do. There is an intent we have to call people who are ready to find us so let me officially say: Welcome to Shaman's Cave! My heart is glad to meet you and to know that you are taking Recapitulation 1. It is much, much better to take the course. You get the focused intent of the tradition and teacher + q&a time and more in-depth material. I understand money issues-we all do, and the world has just gone crazy money-wise, even here in America, that's why Gary Mills keeps the costs very low. Finally, I'm not sure when but the next session schedule will be out soon. Eman
  12. Hi PeZetka, I've been reading your posts here too and have been following this wonderful conversation you and Belle are having and I admire how she is able to explain things to you I don't have anything to add except one thing: she is so right about why we "advertise" self-healing. I was telling someone I know a few months ago that they should try recapitulation. This person has been working with a therapist and meditation regularly, so in other words they are uncovering past trauma and then trying to calm themselves down...they are trying it now and are starting to experience what healing your energy means. They have been trying it for almost two months, 20 minutes for 3-4 times a week, and they are beginning to experience why energetic healing has been the missing ingredient in their progress. While meditation is *wonderful* it has many benefits and can take you far in the evolution of your awareness ( actually I used to meditate for 1-2 hours a day in my 20's), but it doesn't heal the wounds from the past that shape your life in the present. For example if you stop meditating even for a short while, all those negative feelings will come back. This why Belle and makers in general really advocate self-healing, an act of retrieving and healing your own energy. I believe if every human recapitulated, we would be in a very, very different reality. I can see you are bent and you have very interesting energy patterns and I know if you tried to recapitulate your life would do a 180 change. Mine did. When you heal yourself the world around you changes. You are already strong in many ways- look at the advice you gave NiteKreature about life and staying alive. That was something special. Imagine, to stand in a reality in your full power, where your past does not haunt you, where you don't react to the world but are able to act in the world instead... imagine standing in a position where you can truly be free to create your life in the Now. Please try it. If a class time/schedule or cost isn't possible for you, there are free articles on the shaman's cave website that can guide you. All the best to you on your journey. Eman
  13. Hello again. The thing is, the love you want from another person, you have to consider that most women are also locked into certain perceptions of how relationships should be and what they should be looking for from a partner. They too are wounded by life and have their own baggage to work with. From where I am standing, the reality here as I see it is that you won't find what you are looking for from another person. That kind of love is much bigger than human love. Don't expect anything. So what is the answer? Maybe enjoy the women who cross your path that are closest energetically to you, with great intensity for you, whatever the outcome. And accept that human love as we know it lacks a lot. For me, it is the great self-love and great acceptance that I'm only going to get "X" from all that and I am ok with that. That acceptance freed me to enjoy what I want to enjoy, or what I already have in my life for what it is, and to not look for something that's just not there. Bent people, shamans, often touch upon that great burning love and desire and are filled with it, but they know that is in their essence and not something another human is going to give them so they move through the world without expectations. I hope this is making sense to you. Enjoy your life. I'm not saying you shouldn't love, love away, love lots, love sex, but expect nothing. You don't need another person to make you complete: you are complete. But then again this doesn't mean you can't find and have love: you can, only that it's never going to live up to your expectations. Work on you. Love you. Enjoy the ones that come your way, even love them in your way, but expect nothing. When you can sit alone in the dark and be happy, congratulations. Life is short, so don't go looking for a fairytale. Look for you, build and empower you. Seek you. When you are whole, as healed and as whole as you can be, it doesnt mean desire isnt there it just means you know that you can be free from a misleading longing and in that freedom truly enjoy things, partners, sex, for what it is and nothing more. My opinion anyway. It's funny how healing yourself makes you more free from being attached to the idea that a person other than youself can fulfill you. Eman
  14. ((Nitekreature)) May I share something? When I was young I tried to take my own life. I too was so depressed, I couldn’t take feeling that way anymore. I took a bunch of pills, pulled the covers over my head, and waited. Then I sat up and realized I was about to make a big, big mistake. Even later, in different “circles”, let’s say, the people who successfully just took their lives and in the process of unraveling that came across our radar were in greater agony than when they were alive and depressed, all saying the same thing: what have I done? We did so much healing work on them as they unraveled, perhaps much more than they would have needed when they were alive. We are going to all die sooner or later. I do understand your pain, very well. I can tell you there is a way out of it and you will be so glad that you saw your life through to the end because you came here for a reason, even if it isn’t clear to you now. I’m glad I’m still around to tell you this. Dear Nitekreature: take heart. This too shall pass. can we do a healing on you? I would like that very much. We all would and are reaching out our hands to you. ❤️🌷 eman
  15. Hello PeZetKa, To a degree there isn't anything wrong with wanting to look good or being centered on you- I mean, you are the main character in your own social movie, right? But what impact are you having on others... like, why do you feel the need to be an energy vampire why not just have energetic exchanges, it's a lot more enjoyable.... and the urge to have sex is very natural we are sexual creatures not nuns or monks. Shamans are just very picky about their sexual partners but also very open to experiences and nonjudgemental. You know, you should read some of the articles on recapitulation available on the website. It's a self-healing process of energy retrieval and it gives a person a lot of insight and clarity into themselves. Give it a try. The world doesn't have to be in black or white, just good or just bad, there can be a nice balance you can reach within yourself. It is difficult for empathic people to deal with the energies in the world, isn't it? Recapitulation can help with that too- check it out. Eman
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