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    IMG_20230804_193205_(1080_x_810_pixel).jpgLaying in a greenhouse in between plants. I feel like in a love house.


    In my language greenhouse is called "growth-house"....


    That was my intention...



  4. Welcome to the club... EMI... 🤨


    1. Temporary Earthling

      Temporary Earthling



      ...as if - no shielding left




      ... shut it... get your move on



      Obsessed what others will think of you... indulging is doing this to us...

      You are paralyzed and a danger to yourself and others...

      Stop it, what others think is not your business....


      It prevents you from becoming a warrior ever...


      Oversensitive leads to overdramatics,

      overdramatics leads to "what will they think of me"

      This leads to overcompensating...

      ... no balance left...


      Mostly those people are very creative in arts.


      They have huge dreams and if you hear them talk, they convince themself that they are getting somewhere...

      but they are unable to confront the smallest tasks, which may enable them to reach their dreams.


      Chuck this template...


      It feels it gives you a sense of safety, but it is the most toxic friend you can have... an enemy.


      The only way to stop indulging, is to stop indulging...


      For chronic EMI's : "The more you try to stop indulging the more you end up indulging. It will take a while. Every time you catch yourself indulging, immediately sink into inner silence..."

  5. Like Belle said, be ruthless. Your fear is the opening the door too. I was in your shoes once. The more you heal, the more you'll realize the only power they have over you is what you allow them to have. There will come a time when they will become insignificant and won't reach you.... Who knows, maybe one day you will be the one stalking them *grin*. e.
  6. Hi ArcaneHuman, Being aware of them is already a progress, next step for you is to feel/sense what they want from you, why they are latching on you. What are you feeding them, why they keep going back and messing you up. Sorry if the words sounds ruthless, but I don't know how to say that in nice way.. To get rid of them is to get rid of the food you are putting on your table.. remove those cramps, food, dessert, all of those, clean your table top.. they will leave you alone. Belle
  7. thanks. i think part of the difficulty is "seeing" them. i feel like a blind man being jumped by ten hooligans. i can kind of tune into the bad energy and then tell the general feeling of them/it "Eff" off, get out of here. leave me the hell alone. but yeah... i think putting my foot down and demanding anything leave my field is important but it's a bit difficult. the energy/entities or whatever are very persistent.
  8. Hi ArcaneHuman, Going into psychosis or not, nothing and no one has the right to your energy without your agreement. Look in your energy for where you are allowing this to continue: fear? Inability to say vamoose? The belief that once you go into psychosis you have no power or control? Explore it and give them a firm NO and kick them out then dust off your hands. e. "Intent is King, Will is Queen."
  9. I get psychosis about once every week and half to two weeks. I surmised at one point that if this is indeed a spiritual experience/spiritual attack that there must be a literal team of entitites feeding off my energy and manipulating my energy bodies and thoughts, each with their own specialty, towards the end of feeding on specific energy signatures that they manipulate into existence through messing around with my energy and mind. I figure that there are probably lower life form types (animalistic/insect like/ etc) and more intelligent beings as well who feed me mind games. Yesterday, tor pretty much the first time ever, as i started to feel the psychosis setting in, i noticed (energetically) a tentacle wrap around my lower spine to drain me of energy. I didn't feel any need to try to banish it from my field. I felt as though observing it and being aware of its presence was enough to help reduce its efficacy. Regardless... i'm not expert enough in shamanism to know how to banish entities from my field anyway. I feel like i need to continue seeing more entities that are in my field so i'm not at the disadvantage of being blind to what these things are doing to my mind/astral/etc. How do i become more aware of infiltration of my energy bodies? Are there ways of communicating with or exorcising these kind of entities? Any other advice related to this? TIA
  10. Hello folks. So I'm a bit of an expert on Hinduism and such. I collaborated with the motherfuckers at the Mi6 and SRC and shared some stuff which shouldn't have been shared, got driven crazy after, well, murdering someone. So in Hinduism (and Tibetan Buddhism), there is a system of Tattvas. Sattva is Goodness, Rajas is Passion, Tamas is Ignorance or Destruction. Shuddo Sattva is a special Tattva associated with Krishna Consciousness. Alright so here are the proper attributions of Shamanic Plants: Shuddo Sattva - Peyotl, San Pedro Sattva - The Sacred Mushroom, The Body of Christ Rajas - Ayahuasca, Yage Tamas - The Ganja
  11. That makes sense. I'll try to feel it out. Thank you!
  12. ((AH)) It sounds like you're listening to yourself and letting your energy guide you and that's the right approach. You got great advice from your friend, but as you said you sensed you were ready to come to terms after picking at the edges of your trauma scabs. I think your huge breakthrough probably came from being in an overall healthier energetic space- good eating, long-term recap, and meditation to boot- high five. You were ready. About recapping trauma: I wouldn't dive into it directly when you officially start the class for the sake of experiencing each step alone. And it's a funny thing, recapping trauma: at first some days you can do it, other days you'll be watching a movie and start bawling because the movie somehow triggered something connected to the trauma. For me, I approached trauma in slivers, layers, aspects of it here and there. I'd still go back to square one as taught once class begins since there's a method to the approach, even if it feels like you might know some of this stuff already because of your independent recap work. What you achieved with the recap so far will most likely give you much deeper experiences with the recap 1 exercises you'll get in the class. I'm sure others will jump in with some advice on what worked for them too. eman
  13. I decided to directly recap a lot of trauma two days ago. I spent pretty much one whole 12 minute recap session focusing on trauma from childhood and adulthood bouts with psychosis. My friend had cautioned me against doing this kind of thing too soon, probably two or three years back. But I've been recapping daily for a long time and i reached a point where i was like... well my psychosis couldn't get much worse than it already is so i ought to try going directly after the really difficult memories. I had a huge breakthrough a few hours later. This may be in part due to the fact that i've been meditating a lot and eating better. So it's unclear what i was doing right. Now i'm wondering if i should keep diving in and going after the trauma directly. Maybe i'm just ready for it since i've been recapping daily for so long. It also might be worth noting that i'm taking recap I this "semester" if you could call it that. TIA for any advice.
  14. I have in the past and could still never recapture the momentum and profundity of the energy from the night before, but your reply has helped me to realize that i should probably start doing this again even it's not a perfectly efficacious method. Maybe i could try the "sliding emotions" exercise when i wake up? I even thought of drawing a glyph at night and meditating on it in the morning. I think you're right. I was actually reading recently about how right handed people are probably more left brain dominant from writing by hand.
  15. I should clarify, I don't mean only writing with a pen and paper works, typing with a keyboard on a document works too, there's probably still a difference between how the information gets processed but I think they are both useful for retaining insights and knowledge. Lorrie
  16. This is not meant to be sarcastic or anything but have you tried writing down what you learn or experience, like keep a diary? I found that physically writing, the act of putting a pen to paper seems to really help with cementing thoughts in my memory. Maybe you could keep a diary for these kinds of thoughts? On a related note, one of the reasons I feel posting experiences to the forums is important is related to this phenomenon. When I was taking classes, I made myself post every week about my experience with the current exercise. If I didn't, I found that it sort of slipped back in memory. I think our minds are always trying to discount the types of experiences we focus on in shamanism. When you sit down and make yourself articulate your experiences, it not only makes them more integrated in your energy and memory but I also found that things that I had forgotten about or didn't notice about what I was writing about would pop up and so it usually became a much deeper experience for me. I'm not sure exactly why other than you are making yourself review and analyze things that are very fleeting and hard to put into words, making the attempt to describe things beyond the reach of words somehow makes it at least more clear and even more solid. Lorrie
  17. I don't know if there's a technique or teaching from the Maker tradition that can address this but i figure i may as well ask. I learn so much throughout some of my days. Then i go to sleep and i wake up and it's like a total reset. It feels like i've forgotten everything. I usually wake up like... ugh... i don't want to face the day. So it's hard to start my day off on the right foot. Any techniques or advice to deal with this?
  18. yeah i'm interested to see how it will all come together as i learn more. thanks.
  19. Good observation, it's sometimes helpful to think of the exercises like a koan where it delivers you to a space or non-place that will teach you something and expand your energy. And to reinforce what Eman wrote, the class exercises are both intended to give you a taste/sample of what can be done and you would be wise to continue practicing and expanding on your own (each exercise can really become it's own thing if you work with them enough) but they are also given in a way to overwhelm you slightly because that gets you out of your comfort zone and then your energy has the space to move. We generally recommend that students take two classes at a time as it does stretch the students comfort level without being too overwhelming. Many students though, take one class at a time and do well, I think because they do devote a lot of energy to working with the movements and exploring them. All the movements sort of weave back together at some point, Lorrie
  20. Word. This class keeps getting recommended to me. For some reason i keep wanting to sign up for stalking I. I'm now leaning towards recap because it's been recommended a number of times. I think two classes in one "semester" is too much for me. Your advice really encouraged me to make a list of all the exercises (which i'm still in the process of doing). And i did engage with more challenging ones today, like last week's exercise seeing through the dark. That one's definitely a challenge. I did the coin exercise too. I had crazy results with that one today. But the results didn't even seem like the point of it. So i guess it's good to have ones i enjoy doing and balance that out with ones that take more energy and focus. I could ramble on but i won't. Thanks for the insight and advice
  21. Also some great advice from Travellur. C https://www.shamanscave.com/blogs/entry/2022/08/how-to-be-a-shamans-cave-student
  22. ((ArcaneHuman)) These are the ones you should focus on- they are opportunities for growth. If you think about Spirals, for example, the entire class, in terms of exercises, really is just one movement: getting you to use your intent intentionally + the knowledge that came with the class. Quicksilver, as you're seeing, is developing your awareness and perception, the exercises all geared towards fine-tuning these energies. All classes are just one big movement in a sense that had to be broken down into smaller achievable ones. What I did, having been a student at the cave too, is that I went through and focused on each class at a time and incorporated many exercise into my life. Some things became part of my daily regular routine, like recap, working with rocks, etc. Remember you are in the stages of moving and understanding your energy as you heal it, so tier 1 is all about you. Focus on the exercise of the week as you take a class because it helps prepare your energy for the next exercise. You can, afterwards, go back and revisit whatever you want and need to. Here are some analogies that worked for me, silly as they are : with these classes you are going through an energetic transformation and growth, like a Transformer. Also, if you were a car with a lot of dents, you are taking apart the car (you), understanding how each piece works (a specific class), fixing it, and then putting them all together again but now you've become a car that has technology that the world doesn't really have, and it can do things other cars can't. There will be an "aha!" moment, or a series of them, where classes connect, and you begin to realize is that you are turning into the person, the healed, powerful, energetic creature you were born to be and wants to come into the world: each class is a part of that transformation. So go through each class with the intent to take the challenges head-on and learn from the ones you can't do: this is where the real change happens. And if you can't do it now, so what? A year from now, you'll pick it up and do it as easily as making a P&B sandwich because your energy has changed over time... this has actually happened to me. Long answer, but the short of it is focus on what's at hand, keep on recapitulating (I would really take this class and you will see why when you do- too long to explain here but it goes into such great detail that you don't get from the articles, so worth it), and go for the challenging exercises because "if you push anything long enough, it will eventually move" (quoting Gary). I hope this helps. e.
  23. So i have taken Spirals I and am in the middle of Quicksilver. There's so many exercises under my belt that i don't totally know what to do with them. Like... i don't know if it's enough to just do the exercise for each week and then drop it like a hot potato or if i should try to determine for myself what practices i should do... and then try to do a small handful of those exercises each day. Obviously the more we practice the more we learn but i come against resistance with the more challenging exercises. But maybe those are the ones i should be doing? Or maybe just the opposite. Do the ones that feel easy for me. I could ramble on but i'm sure this is enough to riff off of. My only constant is that i do recapitulation pretty much every day and usually some stalking but not always. Thanks in advance for any insight.
  24. Happy New Year Maker Plant Pioneers

     I ran across the video that I think relates to you all on plants and healing, I found it very interesting. 

    Although it is a bit long of a video, but I consider it worth watching. I was glued to it like a magnet. and I had to share it.  I'm curious on what your comments would be. if you take the time watch it.




  25. Hello Esthetic11 Cammie has some good suggestions. I'd like to add that one can recap the emotion around memory as well as the specific memory. In other words, it doesn't matter how you experienced what you experienced. Treat the experiences as real.You can do the same with dreams. I think it's been proven that everything we experience, whether or not it's based in a "solid" reality, is experienced by our bodies as having really happened. I believe it was a study done about the effects of dreaming on the human psyche. I could be mistaken, but I don't think so. Just recap all the stuff without judgment about its solidity, dimension, etc. Good luck, and keep recapping all of it.
  26. If you realize that all things change, there is nothing you will try to hold on to.

    If you are not afraid of dying, there is nothing you cannot achieve.

    74th verse of the Wisdom of the Tao

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