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Everything posted by kai

  1. Ok the obvious question is were the mushrooms identified with absolute certainty? If you have symptoms of poisoning after eating mushrooms you should seek medical attention, some of them are deadly and relatively easy to mix up with something edible if you don't know your mushrooms very well. Depending on what grows in your area, Amanita virosa (destroying angel) for example is white and sometimes people eat it with bad consequences and the onset of symptoms is delayed, but often fatal without treatment. I don't want to scare you, and maybe you do know your mushrooms and know how to tell them apart, but many people don't. Fear doesn't help, it's easy to say but harder get out of it's grip, but it's the emotions which determine how we perceive the experience, whether that is a potentially fatal mushroom poisoning or little harmless sensations. If you have experience with panic attacks you probably have some understanding what can happen with fear when it gets rolling. As a first aid against fear, anger is very effective, getting really angry at the fear, it counteracts it and creates you enough space emotionally to have some clarity and perhaps understand a bit better what's going on without everything seeming like a nightmare. Kai
  2. Hi nitekreature! "Animal totems" in the sense that is used in new agey things is a bit like dream dictonaries - sometimes the symbolism is relevant, but might leave you looking at a very narrow picture. More interesting is the energy and what it speaks to in you and contrary, what in your energy or intent might attract bats or any other critter for that matter? 'Intent' can certainly speak to you through animals, clouds, or whatever is handy - whether that's your own intent through your dreaming energy or other intent in the world, situations can get created where you get the message so to speak. The information in those happenings, omens etc. is already all there, you just need to look past the layers to the energy itself. If you get stuck in the layer of symbolism, you might still get relevant information, but you are creating a tool that traps part of your energy and makes it external to you on some level. For example seeing an omen can be a relevant way of seeing, but in that case there needs to be the 'seeing' part, a sense of knowing through your 'seeing' what the omen means. If you take the seeing away, the omen becomes pretty meaningless. If you have the distinct feeling that something is an 'omen', then you already have the seeing as well, you are just not looking at it or listening to what it tells you. Maybe not the answer you were looking for but I hope it's of some use to you Kai
  3. I meant without being able to move energetically, from shamanic perspective we want our dreaming energy free, so that it can touch and affect the world. I know it sounds crazy but there you go Most people have their dreaming energy caged by the mind, so that you can only dream of what the mind dumps there. As a result the dreams tend to be bizarre and disjointed. There's a disconnect, shamans want to and need to bridge that gap so that they can access all of their energy and do things intentionally with it. There are practices for that, but it's unrelated to lucidity really. Becoming lucid doesn't really bridge that gap, it's mostly a mind thing, though it does poke a tiny hole into the wall between awake/dreaming. Sleep paralysis is different, if you ever experience it, there are things you can do to get out of that state. In sleep paralysis you are kind of stuck (but not really) between two different states, your body is asleep but you are not fully in your dreaming energy and thus aware of your body, but not enough to affect it. There's no reason to be afraid of that state, you are not really paralyzed and you can either wake up or fall asleep at will. If you want to go back to dreaming, you can just relax and sort of fall back fully into dreaming energy. If you want to wake up, probably the easiest way to do that is to focus on your breathing and let it be your guide into becoming more fully aware of your body, which will wake you up. Or you can just get really angry at the fear and will yourself awake, but that's more jolting and not as eloquent. Kai
  4. Hi, from shamanic perspective whether you are lucid or not is not that important, lucidity is more of a mind thing, meaning you can be lucid but still stuck in very shallow levels of dreaming, without being able to move with any kind of power. The dreaming practices in this tradition for example don't rely on lucidity at all and it's not really a goal per se. That said, when I was younger lucid dreaming was something I was very much interested in. For me, making a habit of performing 'reality checks' while awake worked best. For example checking the time on a clock, looking elsewhere and then checking time again. If you are awake, results are very predictable, but in dreaming for most people the clock might have turned into a pink hippo the 2nd time. If you keep doing that with the intent of also doing it in dreaming, it will become a routine for your mind and it'll perform it for you in dreaming as well, at which point you should realize things are wonky and become lucid. The reality check itself can be anything, even just looking at your hands and examining them intently. Like I said, it's not really important for shamanic dreaming movement and becoming lucid by itself will not really do much for you, but it can be fun and stretch the boundaries a bit.
  5. Hi Leaph, No need to be sorry, questions are always welcome Also there are quite a bit of articles and even a few stories on the main shamanscave.com website you might find interesting. 1. You can access dreaming energy during the waking and in seeing other people's dreams it would certainly be mostly about it, likewise with visions. 2/3. Distance and even time don't really matter to dreaming energy, so you can talk to people in their dreams, have shared dreams etc. So your dream conversation could be 'telepathic' or it could be about your intent for the person to pay you back and getting agreement from him, or both. Either way clearly it worked Dreaming energy is a big part of us and very important in shamanic work, so it's pretty much a part of most things we do. Telepathy as a term is a bit hairy to me, seems like it's a bit vague and sort of comes with the idea it's impossible or very extraordinary at least - in any case dreaming energy would surely be one means to that end. We have several dreaming classes, Dreaming I is about sleep dreaming and it is one of the tier 1 beginning classes. It's not offered this coming session but I think should probably be up in the next one. We teach 'active dreaming' which means it's not about dream interpretation or 'passive' stuff like that, but more about moving intentionally and starting a process of giving shape and form to your dreaming energy. The work certainly helps you understand your dreams and the dreams of others better, but that's not the juicy part All the tier 1 classes also have a strong component of self healing / getting to know and understand your energy, they are the internal journey. Hope this helps, Kai
  6. Hi Leaph, For most people dreaming energy is walled off in a small box and most people can go through life like that, but for others the wall is never that solid. Dreaming energy is not bound by time the way our awake reality is, so you can dream of events that are going to happen, or might happen. The future is in a constant flux and nothing is ever really 100% certain to happen until it actually does, but often something might be 99.9% sure to come through the way things are headed You can come into touch with your own dreaming energy, the experiences and dreams tend to be odd because it's a part of ourselves we don't even recognize as ourselves anymore, yet it is and it holds tremendous power. You can hear your own dreaming energy speak to you, if you do often the voice sounds oddly out-of-this-world and can have a certain rough or metallic quality to it. Not everything in dreams is about yourself necessarily though, there's a myriad of other energies both past and present and even people and entities you can come in touch with. When you are in a midst of change sometimes it can be very hard to understand what is what and what it all means - but not everything has to have an explanation, or the explanation can come to you months or even years after the fact as you learn more, but I can say it's a journey worth taking if you feel so called. As you heal yourself and get to know your energy better and better and work more actively with your dreaming energy, everything starts to clear up, the dreams and experiences become more direct and not dressed up in metaphor and stories. Everything is connected and in dreaming we can experience all those connections from a very different perspective and dreams can have many layers - it's a bit difficult to explain in words, but one dream could be about several things at once on different levels and connect events through time in a way we usually don't understand from waking position. As for weird, nah, you or your experiences are not weird, you're just experiencing things outside the scope of what has become your "normal" over the course of your life. If you decide to work on "all this" you might eventually at some point realize what you once considered normal has become bizarre and what was once weird is not so at all anymore. Kai
  7. Hello, It sounds like you are highly sensitive and empathic. It really comes down to learning to know yourself and what is yours and what is not ; the boundaries between where you end and others begin. Recapitulation is the method for that and self-healing in general in this tradition, here's a link to an article with the basic exercise: http://www.shamanscave.com/self-healing/the-recapitulation. It takes some work but over time it really pays off and you come to know yourself on levels most people can't imagine. That doesn't mean instant results can't be had, some things can change really fast at times, just that as a method it relies on your own intent to heal and doesn't give a 'magic pill' solution. I think it should be pointed out use of drugs, whether they are plant allies or man-made doesn't really go with the recap and you should never recap under the influence, the ally will present you with connections that are twisted or simply not there, rendering the work you're putting ineffective or even destructive. It's great for recovering energy from past drug related experiences though, and getting rid of the connections that might still be there. Regarding the energies you see/feel, knowing where they come from is as simple as tearing through the imagery presented by your mind and following the energy to it's roots. It might be difficult without having clarity of your own energy & emotions at first, for sensitive people it's easy to get confused about what is yours and what is not to a degree you might take on 'stuff' from other people without ever questioning if it's truly yours - and also in the opposite way, parts of your own energy can appear very alien to you. Clarity starts at home, once you truly know yourself then you will also know others because you can see clearly. In the meantime grounding helps, spending time in nature and connecting with it, and in general intending for clarity and to reclaim your energy and also to not take on energies outside yourself. Nothing can take your energy without your agreement on some level, it's good to remember that and truly understanding it removes a lot of drama because on a very deep level you come to the realization there's really no fight for your energy, other than the battle you're having with yourself. You can always change the outside circumstances of your life, and sometimes that's absolutely necessary, but if you don't also change and heal yourself, the way your energy is configured and moves in the world will invite it all back into your life one way or another. I hope you find strength and clarity, Kai
  8. Hi Helen, I second what Lorrie said, besides recap here's an article on grounding: http://www.shamanscave.com/practices/grounding- there's an exercise titled "grounding movement" which is something that doesn't take a lot of time and can help you in the moment to regain your balance. It's difficult when you don't know what is yours, but the fact that you've recognized this is something that is happening is a good beginning and if you do the work to truly know yourself inside out, it will help tremondously because you gain an understanding of what is yours and what is not on a level that's not easily explained in words. Being an all out empath is a difficult way to live your life, it's become something of a buzz word lately and in the more new agey articles it seems something that is praised. But to live life like that, there's nothing awesome about it, and it doesn't make you a better person, or worse for that matter. It's a challenge but one you can overcome and eventually turn into a strength. I hope you are able to navigate the stressful situation and reach outcomes that work as well as possible for you and your family. Kai
  9. We do work with animal energy, mostly for knowledge, or sometimes even in some healing situations, or with bones etc. for tools. Most animals are very different from humans, moving your awareness to meet theirs can teach you a lot, the way they perceive the world, use their awareness and senses, touching upon that you bring that knowledge to yourself and can use it in the way you move your energy. That movement can be taken all the way to shapeshifting but it demands you let go of your humanity and moving completely that way doesn't come without some fundamental changes in how you're put together. We don't really work with animal spirits the way it's commonly interpreted. When people talk about animal spirits, they often make them into something they're really not, projecting human qualities and their own energy upon them. That way the 'animal spirit' can become a trap for their power, where they essentially end up working with an aspect of their own energy. Not that it can't work, but I'm not sure what's the point. I also think it's not very respectful, in working with animal energy the least one can do is to make the effort to meet the animal energy on it's own terms and not impose their own humanity on it. Kai
  10. Hi Melissa, " It seems to me the really good, intentional art is not just aesthetically captivating, but is also a clear expression of the energies underlying whatever an artist is trying to communicate." I think you put that well, and when looking at a painting it helps to sort of 'gaze through it' to feel/see/sense the intent and the energy coming together better. I don't think there is a ready made career path for any artist really, there are just boxes you can try to fit into There is art therapy of course, but that is not so much about your art but helping others by having them make art. Art that truly moves people and is made from the heart is healing in itself, we live in a time when people have difficulties letting themselves experience on a deeper level and if art manages to open them up to that even for a moment, it's done an act of healing. That's my take on it at least. If trying to give advice, I think mine would be to keep doing art and exploring the creative process, finding what it is in your heart that you want to express and how it happens for you, when trying to direct it I think it's important to not loose sight of the unknown and unexpected, in other words to let your heart speak freely through what you paint, even if it's a landscape you're painting. Kai
  11. Hi Jan, well that can surely be an effective way to test whether or not anything is happening, but for healing purposes it can actually be counterproductive. When you start out there's so much tied up even in the 'mundane' day-to-day things and all the places they lead, I think if you stick to those for the time being you'll find they're plenty enough to see changes happen. Those big traumatic things have connections everywhere, so going at them directly starting out, people don't usually have the energy to really untie them before working on the smaller things at first, and even if they have, it changes so much all at once it can become really unsettling in a bad way. We like unsettling, but it's a medicine best administered in the right doses, enough to keep the process of healing and changing going, but not too much to drive yourself away or over the edge. I understand the drive, when you start on some level you notice pretty early on those places of most damage, so the pull is there to fix them right up, but to heal the damage it's better to be patient and go at it from the outwards in - even that way there comes a time when you have to dive right in, and at that point I think you'll be really happy with yourself for doing all the 'smaller work' before as you realize the intensity of what you're dealing with. Relationships are an agreement between people, there's a configuration of energy and likewise it's understandable to want to examine and change that but that doesn't take into account the other person - even not recapping the relationship directly, as your energy changes the relationship will also change, but hopefully at a pace that the relationship can live with and evolve with the change, if it's a relationship you want to keep alive. Now, recapping it directly you're changing everything all at once and usually that leads to a big bang which the relationship might or might not survive, but even if it does there's usually a pretty intense crisis involved. Kai
  12. HI Lyla, From my perspective, the problem working with symbols and metaphors, trying to interpret their meaning is they become a trap even when you're right. Our minds love stories and you easily end up crafting all sorts of little dramas out of the things you experience - even if the experience itself is valid and gives genuine knowledge, by the time the mind has done it's number on it you're left with what is frankly a mess of metaphor, imagery and interpretations. I know a lot of people sort of like that and there's nothing wrong with it, and you can still learn things, but it keeps the movement isolated and behind the gates of the mind. You can also grow very attached to the imagery, but in my opinion that is missing the point - behind those images is real freedom and you can only get there if you're willing to let go of the symbols. For example if you see a fox on a journey, or in dreaming or whatever, that symbol itself doesn't tell you anything about it's origin. Is it a metaphor for parts of yourself, or are you dealing with some energy outside yourself? If you're very fond of the image itself, you'll never know for sure because you simply can't move beyond it because that would compromise the image and the stories you've built around it. That doesn't mean It would be impossible to move in powerful ways or build a powerful tradition on working with imagery and metaphors, rituals etc. and it has been done, but if you're starting from the ground up by yourself it would be very difficult because you lack the decades and centuries of experience a living tradition has behind it. If you want to know what is going on, you can move behind the images, you can let them speak to you, not from metaphor and stories, but on the level of energy and you can follow that energy to it's origin. What is the 'feeling' behind the image and where does it take you, or what emotions come up? You could do it as it happens, or recall an experience and examine it. You could even flat out tear through the images, to demand clarity from yourself to see beyond them. When we get 'messages', often the truth about them is something that can be difficult or even painful for us to face about ourselves, so instead we leave ourselves guessing and interpretting. In this tradition everything begins with self-healing, which is a journey in getting to know yourself and healing your wounds. It gives you a solid foundation for further learning, because in truly knowing yourself you gain clarity about the experiences you have and the energies you encounter in the world. You might still not always know what it was about, but at least you know when it's 'you' and when it's something else. Some people naturally see through images and it can be a powerful way of seeing, but if you want it to be truly useful, you need the clarity to begin with and then you need to challenge your seeing to 'see' things in the world you can verify to know if you were right. That way you learn to understand the way you see, whether the information comes to you in images, feelings, sensory input or in just 'knowing'. I know the way this tradition works is not the right fit for everyone, and that's ok, and not everyone wants to work with a tradition at all. I hope you find the direction you're looking for, either here or somewhere else and that your path becomes one of heart. Kai
  13. kai


    Hi Douglas, Simply put the ego is what keeps you separate from the rest of the world and gives you a sense of individual existence, the expression of 'you' into the world. It doesn't need to carry any of that crap usually associated with it though - the self-importance and all that emotional baggage is extra and no way integral part of 'ego' in the shamanic sense. Ego doesn't need to be anything more than a simple matter of identity, you could think of it like a 'lense' or focal point of expression energetically, in a clean state that's really simple and straight-forward. You need the ego to function in the world, to be completely rid of it there's just floating awareness with no sense of expression or identity, while that is something you can access it's not a position you can really live your life from, unless you just go sit in a cave somewhere and be a tourist attraction or something Kai
  14. kai


    Hi Thumb, You've already been given some excellent advice. I'd like to add it's ok to not work with those people who come into your life just as theirs is about to end. I know on the surface it sounds selfish to not help someone who comes to look for help, but if you cannot deal with the situation then you're helping others at your own expense. It is truly a gift, but it can also become a great burden if you don't have the tools to do the work in a way that lets you move through it without adding to the pain you are carrying. You can think of death walking as another way of healing, it's just you're not healing life, but healing its transition to death. If you haven't healed yourself healing others is very difficult and can be consuming. There are different paths to self-healing but the only one I truly know is the way of the Maker tradition, and you can read more about it in the articles on the main http://www.shamanscave.com site. Here's also an article you might find interesting: http://www.shamanscave.com/contemporary-shamanism/deathwalkers If you do want to help them, go into the process with a clear intent - it could be an intent to stay detached, or to learn from the experience, I think it could really help you to have some sort of path you're following through. Detachment is not about not-caring, it's about being compassionate, but not getting attached. It's a bit tricky position to explain and also to obtain, since the way past history has shaped our energy and our emotional make-up creates openings for our energy to get entangled with other people in ways that are often detrimental - that's why the self-healing. Besides the talent being a gift, in seeking your help the people are also giving you a gift - it truly is a magical transformation and one of the most intimate ways you can get to know a person. You want to connect with them on clean grounds with clarity, but if the shaman hasn't dealt with their personal issues, then it can become a tangle of two wounded individuals or leave you in great pain over the whole thing. Kai
  15. kai


    Hi waynard, It can get rough out there for sensitive people, I urge you to read through some of the articles on the main website and see if that resonates with you. Some of the things you might find helpful - on the short term, try to stay well grounded, spend time in nature, take some walks in the woods or a park you like, or just hang around in your favourite nature spot. Here's a little article on grounding with a little more information and things you can do: http://www.shamanscave.com/practices/grounding- it can really help you to regain your balance and let go some of the stuff you soak in through your day. In this tradition we start healing with the self, and the way I see it, it's the only way to ensure balance in the long term. The recapitulation ( http://www.shamanscave.com/self-healing/the-recapitulation) is a method for self-healing and retrieving your energy from past experiences that are still draining you. By the way, pulling things into yourself for healing others isn't generally a very good idea, if you take on pain from other people as your own, that's not really healing but carrying the load of other people for them, which in the long run isn't good for you and doesn't really give the other person opportunity for true healing either. We offer online classes, though at the moment we're in the middle of a session, but it's something to keep in mind if you find the articles interesting and helpful. In the least I hope they give you a sense you're not the only crazy (or sane, depending on your perspective) person in the world If you have any questions, they're very welcome here in the forums. Kai
  16. kai

    lost memories

    Hi, The recap can definitely help release blockages caused by trauma, giving you access to that energy again. With emotional trauma the memories are not truly lost - they are there but access is blocked through emotion. I'll be honest with you, it can be a difficult ride, since you have to face yourself on levels not many people feel comfortable with, but at the same time very rewarding since the changes tend to be profound once you really get going. In the classes we work with people in a way that helps make the process more gradual, so that people can move at a pace that feels right for them and not dive in head first into things they are not prepared to deal with. Kai
  17. kai

    Diviners sage.

    Beyond the necessary agreement and exchange of energy, no matter what you think of that or how you view it, there's also the pragmatic side, to use a tool that would be troublesome in the culture you work within is just not practical, especially if the tool is one you don't really need anyway. Kai
  18. I think when you are functioning in another culture than the one you were raised with, it's a bit easier to gain an additional degree of separation from other people - you connect with them from a slightly different place than with the people from your own culture, and the cultular 'pressure' doesn't connect in the heart of your energy as deeply. Your perception is a bit different and it's at least a little easier to remain centered in yourself and as a result you look at the world through different eyes. Likewise, because you don't come from the same culture as the other people, they connect with you a bit differently, with a little less, or at least different expectations. In your own culture you share some of the basic hurts and wounds with most other people and as misery loves company, there you go. If you heal your energy and recover the 'hooks', you'll be able to connect with the world differently, from a position of your own choosing and by your own example you also show the possibility of healing to others as well. Kai
  19. kai


    Yes, though mirrors are good to begin with since they are contained and easier to control than some other methods. In the end it's just a tool, sort of like training wheels. Not that you can't do powerful things with a mirror - you can, but by the time you should be able to do them without the mirror as well, or it has become a limitation for you. Kai
  20. Hi Tama, The call is something that comes from within you but also connects you to something larger than you, if you explore it. In our times and culture the possible outward signs for this are largely irrelevant, since they wouldn't mean anything to most people anyway - for example, say in the past a kid that was experiencing certain type of dreams or night terrors, that could be a sign and there would be certain ways to deal with it and check it out - in our culture the likely action would be something like a trip to the doctors and being diagnosed with a sleeping disorder. That doesn't mean potential shamans aren't born into our culture, not at all, just that we mostly lack the safety net to catch those people and give them opportunity to learn. Internally it's a different matter, and there's no roadmap of signs to validate your calling. The good thing about this tradition and how it's taught here is that it lets people explore without committing themselves to something they don't understand, so that they can take it as far as they feel they need or want to, whatever the reason they come here in the first place. Kai
  21. Hello & welcome, To be a shaman is to be on a journey into the unknown and that is deeply personal, but what you bring back and are able to apply in the world matters. Our tradition is a contemporary one, that is we work within the framework of the present culture, just like the shamans of the old, and their ancestors before them. There's plenty of information, articles and stories on the main website, which should give you some glimpse of the work and whether this is something that speaks to your heart. One good starting point would be http://www.shamanscave.com/contemporary-shamanism/shamanism/ If you have any questions or want to discuss any of the articles or what any of this means, this is the place. New forums can be scary places, I know this from experience since just a moment ago I was staring at that blank screen, but rest assured, not only are we friendly, we also manage a reasonably believable impression of sanity. Kai
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